![]() ![]() An angry group of fifth graders agrees, saying that it is time to make Cartman suffer. This inspires Butters Stotch and Jimmy Valmer to form a 99% club to protest their being punished for Cartman's poor health. When the toys "tell" him that the Fitness Test is Barack Obama's fault, Cartman concludes that he is being blamed because it is politically incorrect to blame a black president, even accusing the student-filled cafeteria of being a "99% rally" being held against him. ![]() ![]() As he commiserates with his five stuffed animals, he carries on an imaginary conversation with them. When they rebuke Cartman for this, he accuses them of being "the 99%" that is "ganging up" on him, the 1%, but when Craig Tucker dismissively tells him to go home and cry to his stuffed animals as usual, Cartman does just that. ![]() Ben Lindbergh and Meg Rowley banter about Angels manager Joe Maddon’s befuddling bases-loaded intentional walk to Corey Seager, NPB phenom Roki Sasaki’s perfect followup to his perfect game, Hunter Greene and velo-induced fear for young starters, injury close calls for Byron Buxton and Mike Trout, the rise of non-fastballs leaguewide and what Andrew Heaney’s sweeper-iffic success says about player development, more stringent pitch clocks reducing game times in the minors, unvaccinated players not making trips to Toronto, Ichiro Suzuki’s speedy ceremonial first pitch, a feral-cat infestation in Oakland, rebounds in MLB’s average salary and per-game attendance, and a reduction in home-run rate and speculation about the behavior of the ball, plus followups about beef boys, replay review signals in Japan, a rules loophole exploited by Jackie Robinson and his contemporaries, and a way to calculate the most expected no-hitters subtracted.The assembled student body of South Park Elementary is informed that they have scored the lowest in the entire country on the Presidential Fitness Test due to Eric Cartman's extremely poor health, which single-handedly ruined what would have been the school's otherwise acceptable average as punishment, the students are forced to alternate physical education in place of recess for four weeks. ![]()
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